Redemption in Christ

These poems were written after the turning point—when surviving was no longer my only goal, and Jesus began teaching me how to live.

This section is not about perfection. It is about restoration. It is about the slow, steady rebuilding of a life that trauma tried to steal: brushing my teeth, getting real sleep, feeding my cats, praying again, choosing truth, and learning to believe that love does not have to hurt.

If Inside the Pain shows what captivity felt like from the inside, these poems show what freedom looks like as it starts to grow. This is what redemption looks like in real life—small at first, like a flicker, and then steady enough to light the way forward.

April 24, 2025

Somehow, someway

No matter where I was,

What I was doing,

Or not,

Or what was being done to me,

There was always 

A tiny glimpse of something

So soothing,

Something I always sought

Even when I was in a desert ,

A single, dead tree

Or when I was trying to escape from a maze

Of dead, thorny rose hedges,

There was always something,

A tiny, distant flicker,

Of lightning

Through all of the thunder and storming,

There was always something there

Guiding me, in a way

Leading me

To the top of the mountain,

A tree full of life and vegetation,

Just passing through the exit of a maze

Looking around, and only seeing beauty

And hope,

And friendship,

A way forward

After all this pain

And somehow, someway

A mission of helping others,

Of spreading the light

To those who may have lost theirs

Standing, a tall tree,

Atop a tall, grassy mountain

What a view!

There is a sea,

A meadow,

And plenty of other mountains

With barren trees,

With vast forests,

With one lonely tree,

Let the wind blow,

Let us create echoes

Of life,

Of peace,

Of love,

Of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ,

Somehow, someway

For Ann and Dawn

July 4, 2025

True Healing is a long, hot shower

True Healing is living under Jesus’ power

True Healing is when I brush my teeth

True Healing is when I dance and pat my feet

True Healing is a good night’s sleep

True Healing is when life doesn't seem so bleak

True Healing is a well-balanced meal

True Healing is not being blamed for how I feel

True Healing is when I'm taken seriously

True Healing is giving Him all my misery

True Healing is a cold glass of water

True Healing is knowing I'm His daughter

True Healing is when I say my prayers

True Healing is His love that repairs

True Healing is choosing to move forward

True Healing is found in reading His Word

True Healing is when I clean the cats’ litter box

True Healing comes when there's no mental block

True Healing is when I give Thurston his insulin

True Healing is not being numbed into silence

True Healing is when Bobo shows me his tummy

True Healing is laughing out loud ‘cause it’s so funny

True Healing is when Toto goes Zoom! Zoom!

True Healing is them waiting ‘cause I come home soon

True Healing is when Kirsten puffs out her tail

True Healing is knowing it’s okay if I fail

True Healing is in strengthening my faith

True Healing is the freedom of the Lord’s grace

True Healing is forgiving my old debts

True Healing is making sure my needs are met

True Healing is when I forgive and forget

True Healing is letting the Lord do the rest

January 18, 2026

Oh Dear Lord, Heavenly Father

You brought me out to a spacious place,

Surrounded by clear waters

You rescued me, You rescued me

And instead of asking, “Why me? Why me?”

(Because you do delight in me)

I have made a commitment,

Not to just repent

But to live with holy intent

I turn to You on my knees,

In thanksgiving, in worship, in praise

For all of the seconds,

minutes, and days

You have given me to breathe

And I will go much further

than repentance,

I will take every thought captive

I will listen to You

Through the Holy Spirit,

Through the community

You brought me to,

Through the greatest gift -

Your word

And I will follow it,

Sanctify me, Dear Lord

Gracious, Heavenly Father

Help me to turn away from sin,

Transform my actions into worship,

Vertically, directly, up to You.

Amen

January 24, 2026

Eight o'clock rolls around

And there's so many choices

Like creaks and cracks crawling

through the walls--

But those are the only sounds,

The only voices

In my mind

Like my third eye is blind

And I try to keep myself from falling

Off the shelf,

A porcelain doll.

What should I do?

What should I do?

I can't find...

Myself.

Only the doll.

Porcelain.

Unmoving.

On display.

Re: porcelain20

But a voice cries out into the dark:

"You are not lost. You are found.

I love you with My entire heart.

I'll never let you hit the ground.

Just ask Me. Ask Me.

Who you are. To Me.

Because you are not made of glass

You were made to move,

To breathe.

So, please just ask.

Because I am El Roi,

The God who sees.

And I see you, Missy."

And she wiggles her fingers and toes,

Brushes the hair off her face,

A small tear escapes her eye,

And the room brightens.

"Dear Lord, El Roi

You see me, you see me

Please, give me a name

What would you call me?

Call me?"

"You are my beloved daughter,

Held in my arms.

Not because you are fragile,

But because you are Mine."

💛 Missy 💛

 January 25, 2026

Do you think that was random?

Do you think that was random?

God saw me when no one else did.

Trapped in the pit,

He scooped me up.

Do you think that was random?

God carried me when I couldn’t walk.

Lost in the woods,

He guided my feet.

Do you think that was random?

God spoke for me when I couldn’t talk.

Through my friend,

Through the Holy Spirit.

Do you think that was random?

God was there when everyone left.

All alone,

He spoke to me.

Do you think that was random?

God rebuilt what was stolen—

brick by brick.

Do you think that was random?

God led me out of captivity—

step by step.

Do you think that was random?

God rewrote my identity:

my purpose,

my mission.

Do you think that was random?

Do you think that was random?

The Holy Spirit came at Pentecost.

He flooded the air

And filled souls.

Do you think that was random?

Three thousand people were saved

in one day—

baptized.

Do you think that was random?

A rainbow bloomed in the sky

after the Great Flood—

a promise.

Do you think that was random?

God covered Adam and Eve

after they sinned

in the garden—

mercy.

Do you think that was random?

Manna appeared in the desert—

bread from heaven.

Do you think that was random?

Jesus died for us on the cross,

and He said,

“Forgive them…”

Do you think that was random?

Do you think that was random?

Because it’s not.

It’s God,

and His covenant

with us. 

Always.

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